CINCINNATI — What’s next after the Aroldis Chapman Roll — or as one man said after Chapman’s double somersault Tuesday night after completing a save, “Well, Chapman is finally on a roll.”
One thing is certain, if Hall of Famer Barry Larkin still conducted a Kangaroo Court, Chapman would have been fined for being unprofessional and then Larkin would have doubled the fine for the somersaults being so weak.
Rather than somersaults, Chapman enacted a couple of tumbles off the mound, a maneuver that startled catcher Ryan Hanigan, who had run to the mound to congratulate him, and angered manager Dusty Baker.
What’s next? Maybe Mike Leake can leave the mound riding his skateboard, waving the American flag. Maybe Homer Bailey can leave his horse tied up at the dugout and ride a lap around the stadium after he comes off the mound. Maybe Bronson Arroyo can come off the mound strumming his guitar while singing that gosh-awful JTM song he sang on a commercial a few years ago.
WHILE TEAMMATES WERE not happy about Chapman’s burlesque, jokes flew around the clubhouse Wednesday morning. Said one player, “Next time I’m in a restaurant I’m going to look for the Chapman roll.”
Baker, as old school as old school gets, a school in which a player does nothing to show up the other team, saw zero humor in Chapman’s celebratory grass dive.
When a writer made an attempt at humor about it Wednesday morning in Baker’s office, referring to Chapman’s gymnastics prowess, Baker said, “That ain’t funny. It ain’t no joke to me.
“It has been addressed already and it’s over,” Baker added. “It won’t happen again. Ever. I know he was happy and things have been going poorly for him, but you have to demonstrate in a different way, that’s all.”
THERE WAS CONCERN that Joey Votto or Brandon Phillips or Jay Bruce might have to wear knight’s armor to the plate Wednesday in fear that the Milwaukee Brewers might send a message about how they didn’t appreciate Chapman’s kindergarten-style somersaults.
“What transpired between us and the Brewers is between us and the Brewers,” said Baker. “Ron Roenicke (Brewers manager) was my teammate in Los Angeles. He knows me and he knows me very well. He knows how I am and he knows how I do things. At the time, he was a young player and I was one of the leaders on the team, so he knows me.
“Next subject. This one is over,” said Baker.
NICK MASSET BELIEVES his return to the bullpen will happen within the next two to three weeks, which would bring him back after the All-Star break (July 9-12). Masset threw a bullpen session before Wednesday’s game and reported everything on the up-and-up.
“I’m happy with my progress and excited that I can hopefully be back with the team in two or three weeks,” he said. “I don’t know exactly, because there is no timetable, but my progress indicates two or three weeks and I can’t wait.”
HAS ANYBODY NOTICED that Jay Bruce has more strikeouts than Drew Stubbs (66-62 and that Joey Votto has only two fewer strikeouts (60) than Stubbs. Yes, Stubbs missed two weeks while on the disabled list, but it is still noteworthy that Bruce and Votto whiff nearly as much as the oft-criticized Stubbs.
DON’T SLACK off on those great Ask Hal questions. Still need some for this week and you can still make it into Sunday’s DDN by sending those questions by tomorrow afternoon to firstname.lastname@example.org.Tweet