Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2010 > October > 05 > Entry
Good behavior should be expected from kids and adults
In Nathaniel Hawthorne’s novel The Scarlet Letter, Puritan character Hester Prynne is forced to wear a letter ‘A’ on her chest identifying her as an adulterer.
Likewise today, those who may disrupt dinner at a restaurant are identified with? Children.
A North Carolina restaurant owner recently banned “screaming children.” Brenda Armes told WECT-6 News her business is now booming, “It has been a good thing for us. It has brought us in more customers than it has ever kept away.”
I can’t say I’m surprised. Children are an unpredictable work-in-progress.
I, too, would like to enjoy a peaceful dinner out, but with kids that’s hard to do. Try as I might to keep them entertained, they don’t always sit still or keep quiet and explaining to a 13-month-old that she has to “ask politely, don’t screech” is next to impossible, although she’s learned sign language for “milk,” “more” and “eat” which limits her frustration.
The dirty looks from the childless patrons are really uncalled for. My husband and I are well aware when our kids have crossed the line and we will handle it.
Nonetheless, we are always ready to pack up dinner in a to-go box and head for the hills.
“Ban kids from restaurants” is a Facebook page which states “If you’re tired of going out to eat only to be subjected to children’s tantrums and their parents’ indifference to the feelings of other customers, this is your group.”
Do you honestly think we want to be in a restaurant while our child has a meltdown because his macaroni is cold? I assure you, we don’t. But, it happens.
I’m not so sure parental indifference is the problem in all cases, perhaps society is becoming less tolerant of children in general (children should be seen and not heard, right?)
But, what about the adults who behave like children? Shouldn’t they be banned, too?
I don’t mean just the drunk-and-disorderlies, but your everyday “big people” who snap.
For example, Rants From Mommyland blogger and mom, Lydia, recently wrote of her experience with a “stroller kicker.”
Lydia’s baby stroller momentarily blocked a store aisle. When she failed to maneuver out of the way fast enough; a frenzied and rushed woman had the audacity to kick the stroller!
And we think kids only learn bad things on television.
A childless (but “child friendly”) colleague of mine sums it up well: “I’m not scared to shush people’s kids, but I’ve also shushed adults who were using profanity or being too loud in a public place. You can be well-behaved (or not) at any age!”
Email this contributing writer at Motherhoodcolumn@yahoo.com.
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By Perfect Helen
October 12, 2010 6:59 AM | Link to this
I really do agree with the fact that even adults can misbehave and attract the excessive attention of the public. No matter, how old you are or your child is.Even the youngest child can be obedient and do not make scenes in public. And I think that it’s wrong to get irritated on hearing someone else’s child cry. Maybe, parents need much more time to pacify their kid.
By reality
October 5, 2010 5:58 PM | Link to this
I am the mother of a very well behaved 10 year old girl, who has never thrown a fit in a public place. Knock on wood!!! But that does not stop people from giving us dirty looks either. Most just assume that since she’s a kid she’s going to misbehave. My daughter and I recently traveled by plane and when we came to our seats next to a business man he sighed and rolled his eyes at us at the end of the flight he appologized and told my daughter how wrong he was. So before you start you start judging every book by its cover maybe you should look inside it first !
By amazed
October 5, 2010 5:19 PM | Link to this
While I definitely agree that quiet, candle-lit restaurants are not appropriate for children and parents should be considerate of this,WOW. I want to meet the children that Manners raised, because obviously they are the most well-mannered children that God ever created. Your rudeness astounds me!! You are entitled to your opinion, but you just start to sound ignorant when you start to attack. If this is any indication of how you treated and raised your own children, God bless them.
By Barney
October 5, 2010 4:54 PM | Link to this
Quote:”Do you honestly think we want to be in a restaurant while our child has a meltdown because his macaroni is cold? I assure you, we don’t. But, it happens.” No, dear, it doesn’t “happen”. It happens because you bring your kids to inappropriate places where they don’t want to be. There are lots of childfriendly restaurants, but no, you have to take them to the expensive, candle-light-dinner-type ones. And you’re really surprised that other diners give you dirty looks? Come on, nobody can be that dumb!
By FridaMind
October 5, 2010 1:38 PM | Link to this
“Strollers” sorry, I’m not spelling my best today.
By FridaMind
October 5, 2010 1:35 PM | Link to this
Also, I used to work in retail and I couldn’t help but notice that sometimes people will use ‘stollers’ to block aisles deliberately during really ‘BIG SALES’ events, especially, as sad as it sounds, around “Christmas.” I’m not saying this was what the woman you mentioned was doing, but, just that I have witnessed this “shopping maneuver” while at work. Wisened (“Seasoned”) shoppers would often grab a cart or carry large shopping bags, whether they needed them or not, just as a line of defense from the ‘stroller aisle’ tactic (The actual carriages would, and sometimes not, have an infant in them at the time they were blocking the aisle.) Things get interesting in retail during the Christmas Season. lol
By FridaMind
October 5, 2010 12:46 PM | Link to this
Maybe they should offer a “no-children” or “child-free” section. I have chronic tinnitus and the sound of a child screaming or infant crying is a ‘physical disturbance’ for me and makes my condition worse. People with hearing aids often experience similar problems when exposed to sudden loud noises. You can’t take back a scream. These are things that restaurant owners might want to consider just as they did smoking and non-smoking sections when that was a factor. Best wishes.
By Golden Rule
October 5, 2010 10:56 AM | Link to this
Dear Manners, While you’re entitled to your opinion, you have voiced it rather rudely. You have some valid points but the way they are expressed makes me not want to even consider agreeing. I think that if diners could be considerate of others in many regards including their children, cell phone use, inappropriate language, etc., restaurants from fast food to four-star would be nicer environments. Remember the Golden Rule?
By Manners
October 5, 2010 10:31 AM | Link to this
Strollers? Wheelchairs? Crutches? I see that you have the attention span and ability to stay on subject…sort of like that child that you’ll “immediately take care of”. To answer your questions about strollers/wheelchairs/crutches. Strollers are designed with safety in mind, so kicking one isn’t a problem. It’s when you launch one down the street/parking lot/hill that I would be concerned. Wheelchairs are equipped with brakes, so before launching an occupied one, I would instruct the occupier how to operate them. Crutches are a real problem. When I knock one away from the user, I have to be carefull not to get whacked with the other one before the user hits the ground. Does this clarify things…”Manners? Yeah, right”? See…that wasn’t hard, was it? I stayed on subject about your screaming child, and addressed issues that weren’t even on my mind, would never do…but you accuse me of wanting to do. Fantasy on your part is fun, isn’t it?
By Manners? Yeah, right.
October 5, 2010 10:11 AM | Link to this
Manners… where did your manners go? Most people do attemt to handle their children well. I have a very well behaved 2 year old, and if she acts up in a restaurant, it is dealt with immediately. I can’t say the same for the adults nearby that smoke at entrances to restaurants, yell to the waiter/waitress across the restaurant, talk to loudly at their table, etc. It seems that, to you, it would be okay (due to your description of parents taking too much “good old time”) to kick a child’s stroller when it is not moved quickly enough. Would the same be true of a wheelchair that’s in the way? How about an otherwise capable adult on crutches? A child walking by that doesn’t move quickly enough? I have no disagreements with a restaurant refusing screaming children. They don’t belong in some restaurants. But neither do a large portion of adults these days.
By Manners
October 5, 2010 8:47 AM | Link to this
Well, Sense…seems like you’re getting pretty spooled up! Ya’ think you should take your own advice? I am glad that you are “assured”, your advice helps me digest my meal over the screams of a child “calling out”. Don’t offer comments (sense?..ha!) about children disturbing other diners, just criticise comments about how to get the disturbance to stop. Elitist idiot.
By Sense
October 5, 2010 8:39 AM | Link to this
I assure you, Manners, that sometimes the young calling out is a natural thing and you should divert your judging looks elsewhere. Take some anger management classes, go to church, look inside your empty soul, and attempt to find meaning. You will live a much happier, longer life and things like this won’t bother you so much.
By Manners
October 5, 2010 8:19 AM | Link to this
Darci…the uncalled for “dirty looks” are after you took your good old time to “handle” your out of control spawn. We’re not on your time schedule to handle your precious “time out” creation, but it’s obvious you think we should be. Experiment with your lack of child dicipline somewhere else, not at my dinner table. Is this concept too difficult for you to grasp? Remove your bellowing brat from the restaurant at the beginning of its tantrum. What a concept!!!