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Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Motherhood: Safety glasses recommended
There are some mom-stories that just have to be told. Not for sentimental reasons, but because really? Who else can tell this story?
My story begins innocently enough on a Saturday morning.
I was getting a simple, but often overlooked task done with my kids: cutting their toenails.
This has never been an easy task to accomplish, as they absolutely hate the feel of those little clippers up under their talons.
After wrestling around and pinning them to the floor was no longer an option, I made up “M&M Toe Trim.” For every toenail I was able to snip that did not result in a reflexive kick to the gut, they got to eat an M&M.
Worked like a charm.
Now that they are a bit older (7 and 5) a promised handful of M&M’s from the M&M slot machine (everybody wins!) after the fact, will usually suffice.
My 5-year-old son reluctantly sat himself down and let me clip away. We talked about, well, whatever 5-year-olds talk about while having their nails cut.
“Mom, how many raindrops have ever fallen on you?” “What is the next number after infinity?”
Then my big, tough 7-year-old son plopped himself down and tensed up as I took his foot into my hand.
“Wow,” I thought cringing. “How long has it been?”
I leaned down low and began snipping away.
I have never worn safety glasses while trimming toenails, but today would have been a good day to start.
I leaned in close - careful not to catch any skin or cut too close - when I suddenly found myself jerking backwards, crying out and clawing (no pun intended) at my eye.
Like a cruise missile right on target, a toenail remnant had launched directly into my eye. Once I realized what had happened, I ran for the mirror.
“Eeewwwww!” What are the odds, right?
But there it was, lodged between my lower eyelid and eyeball. It was all I could do to remove the DNA-rocket without gagging.
My son was giggling hysterically. No sympathy from him.
His final seven toenails were removed without incident and I consoled myself with a few M&M’s - OK, more than a few, but hey! It had a toenail in my EYE!
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