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A million wedding tips too many
Make sure you start getting organized right after the proposal. Take time in selecting all of your vendors, like the reception site and music. Select your bridal party without feeling pressure about who to include. Know what kind of “style” you’d like your wedding to portray.
And do the other million “you-must-complete these tasks soon” ideas.
Oh, and whatever you do, don’t procrastinate.
While these tips can seem both useful and sensible, there’s really only one tip you need: don’t read all of these tips.
Or, at least, don’t spend most of your day wondering what that next item on your “wedding checklist” was and how you must complete it in that very moment.
Being engaged for nearly a year has made me realize that I don’t necessarily need to sacrifice hours out of my day to read about what I should be doing at that time. This is where we hear about brides losing sanity as each day goes on - “bridezillas,” if you will.
I’m trying to steer clear of that path and not get so caught up in the planning part. Sure, I want to invest time into it, of course, but I also don’t want it to consume my life and stress me out to the point of no return.
So, what do I do? How can I possibly go about planning a wedding without reading every great tip out there?
I’ve realized that there are really only a few points to keep in mind during the whole wedding planning process that will keep you sane. Of course, seeking help from other sources - friends, family, internet - are necessary.
The key is to not get consumed by all of it.
First of all, you have to know who you are. Yes, I’m talking about getting in touch with yourself before even thinking about how to go about planning that grand wedding.
Just think about the basics: what is your general personality? Do you like being around large crowds? What is more important to you: social setting or who makes up the social atmosphere? Are you a more casual, laid-back person or are you more energetic and outgoing?
These few questions can point you in the right direction as far as the reception and ceremony site. From there, everything will start falling together (music, overall style/theme of the wedding, color scheme and so on).
For my wedding this October, I knew it was most important for me to have a casual, relaxed atmosphere with my friends and family. I didn’t need any fancy reception hall, crazy-expensive appetizers and an open bar.
I just wanted a welcoming atmosphere where I knew people could relax and enjoy each other company. After all, they’re your guests - you want them to feel at ease!
With knowing I wanted a “relaxing” atmosphere, it wasn’t difficult to see that Ronald Reagan Lodge in West Chester, Ohio was the perfect choice.
Located in Voice of America Park in Butler County, the lodge is just gorgeous. There’s a pond, gazebo, and plenty of greenery. It’s a nice, peaceful setting for everyone to enjoy themselves. From here, knowing I wanted a relaxed (yet modern) style for a wedding, the rest of my vendor selections seemed easier than I thought.
Secondly, you must peruse - not intensely study - all types of wedding pictures for inspiration. Once you start reading books with a seemingly endless amount of tips, it can be hard to know where to begin.
But glancing at pictures, whether it be wedding cakes or reception centerpieces, gives you quick ideas and outlets to showcase creativity. I, for one, know that most of my “bookmarked” tabs on my browser are, well, wedding picture ideas. They eventually led me to this idea for my cake! It won’t be exactly like it, but the general colors and offset square tiers are the same.
Next, if you must read wedding tips and other advice, only read what you need to know. For example, in some of my wedding books I own, there are sections dedicated to “picking out the perfect ceremony site,” “deciding between a DJ or band,” among other big decisions.
But why read all of them if you already know what you really want? I knew I wanted a DJ all along. They are very portable and usually far less expensive than any band. But then I started reading some “pros” about choosing a band over a DJ - it’s different, unique, and that “live” music atmosphere is sure to get the crowd going.
‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘I could do that. Maybe I could get some jazz or other musicians in the reception place.’
But why should I do that and not what I really wanted to do? Suddenly, I was thinking about something I didn’t really want from the beginning. I’ve been to many weddings and loved the overall interactive DJ atmosphere.
Don’t get me wrong. Reading about incorporating live music at weddings was fun. But all it really did was made myself question what I really wanted and if it was “good enough.”
But that’s what many wedding books can do - make you think you may want something when you actually don’t.
I know these books are designed to get you to think and start brainstorming. I’m just saying you don’t have to read every sentence and every section of every wedding book to do so.
This leads me to my fourth suggestion: tap into your creative self and just start brainstorming yourself. For example, the other day I was trying to discover alternatives to the traditional flower centerpieces. As beautiful as they can be, most are also expensive. And also a bit…well, large.
Call me crazy, but I think it’d be nice to see who you’re sitting across from at the table.
My inspiration and brainstorming lead me to this idea used for a centerpiece. And I didn’t go read a million wedding tips to do it.
With my wedding in October, I wanted something to complement the “fall” aspect. Colorful fruits with perhaps some fall leaves scattered on the table seems to do the trick! Inexpensive, fun, and creative. Perfect.
All in all, what most of these tips are actually trying to tell you is to just simply be yourself. It goes back to the very first thing I mentioned: know who you are.
This is supposed to be your day, right? If we all think of it that way, wedding planning can suddenly seem far less stressful and much more enjoyable.
And rewarding at the end, of course. After all, we can’t be so caught up in the journey that we forget about where we’re going.
Oh, and back to the “bridezilla” comment. I do tell my bridesmaids and those close to me to let me know if I ever get this way. It’ll be clear to them that I’ve read “a million wedding tips” too many.
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By Divorce
May 13, 2011 8:26 PM | Link to this
I have a wedding tip: The divorce rate in the U.S. is 50%. Get married on the cheap, because there’s a 50% chance that it’ll end in divorce. Does anyone know why getting divorced is so expensive?>>>>>>BECAUSE IT’S WORTH IT!!!!!!!! Been there, done that…and all that money spent to rid myself of the sociopath (she’s now torturing another poor guy), WAS WORTH IT!!!!
By Photographer Glenwood Springs CO
May 13, 2011 10:30 PM | Link to this
Oh, and don’t forget to hire the perfect photographer to capture your perfect day!
By Do it your way
May 14, 2011 8:31 AM | Link to this
Here’s a tip. Plan your wedding your way and discount everybody else’s bright ideas. They are just trying to get their 2 cents worth in or re-live their wedding and the mistakes/omissions they made.
By enjoy the ride
May 14, 2011 2:00 PM | Link to this
Don’t listen to negative people. But don’t go overboard either. The most important thing is to be able to enjoy your day, so make reasonably sure you have chosen the right person, and a ring, dress, and wedding to your taste but within your budget. It’s nice to have at least a small ceremony for friends and family with photos that will last a long time.
By Nae
May 15, 2011 8:40 AM | Link to this
I am a country girl and we are country people so we could def have one of those Big Red Neck Weddings. Our Wedding is this summer and we are planning an Awesome Wedding and fun time for us and our guests. For a Wedding that they will talk about for years to come. I think all Brides should just take their time in planning and don’t get brain over load on planning cause it will def stress you out. Have Fun And Plan the Wedding the way you and your Grooms wants. That is what we are doing.
By Spell Check
May 15, 2011 6:14 PM | Link to this
Nae the word is “definitely”
By Ironic
May 16, 2011 10:15 AM | Link to this
Does anyone else find it weird that the author is telling us to ignore the millions of tips that are out there…and then she provides us with tips of her own?